Trying to Conceive Is Harder Than We Admit: How to Protect Your Mental Health

Trying to conceive can affect far more than your reproductive health. Infertility, IVF and pregnancy can bring anxiety, grief, jealousy, isolation and emotions that can be difficult to admit, particularly when it feels like everyone around you is getting pregnant.

In this episode of Knocked Up, fertility specialist Dr Raelia Lew is joined by perinatal and reproductive psychiatrists Dr Edna Lekgabe and Dr Hannah Dobson, founders of WARM Health Collective, for an honest conversation about fertility, pregnancy and mental health.

They explore why pregnancy announcements, baby showers and conversations with friends can feel unexpectedly painful during infertility, and why experiencing envy or anger does not mean you cannot also be genuinely happy for someone else.

The conversation also explores matrescence, the psychological, hormonal, physical and identity transition involved in becoming a mother. Like adolescence, becoming a parent can profoundly change how we see ourselves and the world around us.

Dr Raelia, Edna and Hannah discuss mental health medication before and during pregnancy, intrusive thoughts, anxiety and depression, ADHD medication, previous eating disorders, the pressure to "bounce back", becoming a parent later in life and how partners can recognise when additional support may be needed.

They also explain why preconception mental health planning can be valuable before fertility treatment or pregnancy, including understanding your mental health history, identifying support networks and building your village before you need it.

In this episode

• The emotional impact of infertility and IVF
• Coping when friends become pregnant before you
• Jealousy, grief and pregnancy announcements
• What matrescence means
• Pregnancy anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts
• Mental health medication and pregnancy
• ADHD medication when trying to conceive
• Eating disorders, body image and pregnancy
• Mental health warning signs for partners
• The pressure on mothers to "bounce back"
• Mental health for single mothers by choice
• Building your support network before pregnancy

Chapters

00:00 Intrusive thoughts, motherhood and mental health 00:48 Meet Dr Edna Lekgabe and Dr Hannah Dobson 04:07 What is matrescence? 07:12 Why becoming a parent changes your identity 11:00 Anxiety, overwhelm and the pressure to bounce back 17:00 Antidepressants and medication before pregnancy 20:35 ADHD medication and pregnancy 22:00 Eating disorders, body image and pregnancy 24:16 Preparing mentally for pregnancy 27:32 The pressures facing modern mothers 31:03 Social media, isolation and building your village 32:48 How common are intrusive thoughts? 33:47 Mental health red flags partners should recognise 36:39 Single mothers by choice 37:53 Infertility, envy and pregnancy announcements 43:20 Preparing mentally before pregnancy 45:34 WARM Health Collective and where to find support

Guests and resources:

WARM Health Collective https://www.warmhealthcollective.com.au/

Dr Edna Lekgabe https://www.warmhealthcollective.com.au/team/dr-edna-lekgabe

Dr Hannah Dobson https://www.warmhealthcollective.com.au/team/dr-hannah-dobson https://www.drhannahdobson.com.au/

COPE https://www.cope.org.au/

PANDA https://www.panda.org.au/

About Dr Raelia Lew

Dr Raelia Lew is a CREI-certified fertility specialist, gynaecologist and host of Knocked Up, as well as Medical Director of Women's Health Melbourne and Melbourne IVF.

Women's Health Melbourne: https://www.womenshealthmelbourne.com.au/dr-raelia-lew

Melbourne IVF: https://www.mivf.com.au/specialists/melbourne-ivf-doctors/dr-raelia-lew

Knocked Up Producer: Jess Clark https://www.instagram.com/clark_collective_/

Follow @knockeduppodcast, @drraelialew and @womenshealthmelbourne.

If you are struggling with your mental health during infertility, fertility treatment, pregnancy or after birth, speak with your GP or an appropriately qualified health professional about the support available to you.